牧羊·经典文摘

[超级实用兼爆笑] 男人英语 VS. 女人英语

语言本是人们沟通的工具，没有性别之分，但由于男女的社会分工、性格特色、生理特点不同，每一种语言都深深地打上了性别的烙印。在国外，有部分社会语言学家，专门研究语言与性别的关系。美国有一位学者Graham Goodwin，从 1980年到1990年，先后十次，在费城街头，收集不同年龄、种族、职业的男、女行人的谈话，进行比较研究，结果发现，与男人的语言相比，女人的语言至少有下列特点。

A. 女人喜欢使用第一人称复数(我们)形式，比如 We need……(我们需要)，而男人喜欢使用第一人称单数(我)，比如 I want……(我想要)。

B. 女人喜欢使用平易、通俗的单词，比如用 nice、sweet 等来形容(好)，而男人喜欢使用华丽、夸张的单词，比如用 splendid、gorgeous 等来形容"好"。

C. 女人喜欢创造一些比较女性化的说法，比如 dove grey (类似鸽子羽毛的灰色)，而男人喜欢使用英语标准的说法，比如 light grey (浅灰色)。

D. 女人重视语法的正确性，比如 We' re going to……(我们正在去/即将去)，而男人不重视语法的正确性，比如We're gonna……(我们正在去/即将去)。

E. 女人喜欢直接引用，比如 Hannah said that……(汉娜说)，而男人喜欢间接引用，比如 She said that……(她说)。

F. 女人喜欢礼貌表达，比如 Would you please……(您能)，而男人喜欢常规表达，比如 Can you……(你能)。

最后一个，同时也是最重要的一个特点，那就是女人喜欢倾听，而男人喜欢诉说，比如下面一段对话，拿给普通的美国人看一遍，然后让他们判断一下A和B的性别，结果所有人都认为：喋喋不休的A是男人，随声附和的B是女人。

A: I saw a kingfisher Saturday morning.
B: Did you?
A: It took off about three feet from my side. I didn＇t see it in the bush. It took off out of a bush...
B: Mmmm.
A: Passed the front of my canoe and flew into a tree. I sat there...
B: Very nice.
A: and thought ...
B: Yeah.
A: It looked down at me and it was really bright.
B: Beautiful.

以下请认真详读，对比男人和女人说话的引伸义：

男人的英语 MEN'S ENGLISH

I'm hungry = I'm hungry.

I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy.

I'm tired = I'm tired.

Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.

Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.

Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.

May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.

Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!

You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you.

What's wrong? = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this.

What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?

What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.

I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?

I love you = Let's have sex now.

I love you, too = Okay, I said it, we'd better have sex now!

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before.

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!

Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.

Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.

(while shopping) I like that one better = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!

I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together = I am gay.

女人的英语 WOMEN'S ENGLISH

Yes = No.

No = Yes.

Maybe = No.

I'm sorry = You'll be sorry.

We need = I want.

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.

We need to talk = I need to complain.

Sure go ahead = I don't want you to.

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you're dead.

Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

The same old thing = Nothing.

Nothing = Everything.

Everything = My PMS is acting up.

Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an asshole.

发贴者：无名 @ 09:14